Saturday, October 16, 2010

Insufficient Postage: Daddy of the Month Year Century Millenium

In this series, I write letters to people in my life - past, present, and possibly future - without the tension of actually mailing them. See the original post about the new series for more info.



Dearest Dad,

There's no lie in the idea that fathers are the first and most important men in a daughter's life. For the past 39 years, I always felt safe in the love you have for me. I can count my disappointments on one hand with plenty of fingers left to spare. Those disappointments were always short-lived because forgiveness is an automatic mechanism that operates in our relationship.

You never hid your pride in having me for a daughter. In spite of the mixed criticisms and praise from mom, I developed a confidence with roots in the love you always express. After long days of construction work... with icicles hanging from your beard... you let me know my importance every time you used your tired arms to lift me into the air with a weary yet surprisingly bright sincere smile.

As mom told, and pictures confirm, you made sure we laid in the sunlight together whenever possible. You wanted your baby girl to get enough sun, right beside your protective side.

As I grew, your protective spirit towards me never changed. I'll never forget that day in 7th grade when I got my feelings hurt at a school dance. My date ran off with other girls, and you pulled your pump-action shotgun in response. The moment of fear I felt in that instant was quickly overcome by a deep love for your regard of my young feelings. As mom talked and you fumed, I got an early lesson about not settling for less.

When I entered young adulthood, you left our home to live with another woman. You didn't call or keep in touch. I was hurt until I realized you were mostly concerned that I'd reject your decision. I was wise enough to know that sometimes children need to reach out first. I visited you there and let you know I still loved you as my precious father. I didn't judge your relationship for two reasons: (1) I was relieved that you ended the tension with mom and (2) You didn't lose an ounce of value as my beloved father. We never lost touch again - even as you eventually grew out of your new romance.

As I made the leap from girl to woman, I watched you become an amazing grandfather. I smiled with eyes full of happy tears as love for me pour into my sons. They love you with the same energy that I do, and they're immensely blessed to be a part of your life.

As you grow older, I am forced to consider the day - hopefully a day far away - that you may no longer be a part of our lives. You don't know this, but I have cried advance tears at the thought of losing you to heaven's call. As I write, I cry them again. Know this:

Whenever the moment comes that you must face your own mortality, you leave behind a daughter who still sees you as the strong, protective, loving father who lifts her into the air as an endless expression of amazing love. Heaven must have a special place for premier fathers, and I'll see you there when I arrive.

I love you daddy. You're the best of the best.

3 comments:

BluJewel said...

I applaud and likewise envy your ability to have the blessed and fortunate position of writing such a letter. I teared up at the beautiful and eloquent way your words spoke to your father and also because I am not, never have been, nor will I ever be in a position to give either my Father or Step Father such recognition and that hurts.

Even though you've stated that this series is for YOUR benefit of expression, I would encourage you to share this one as it would make one hell of a Father's Day gift. We must show love/praise/affection while the person is around/alive to receive it.

Think about it!

Her Side said...

Blu!!!

God knows my heart gets all warm and fuzzy whenever you're in the room. I'm glad you dropped by. :-)

I SERIOUSLY thought about sending this letter to dad... perhaps with a few additions. Mostly because I would feel shorted if I ever lost him and never shared these words.

He knows I love him like crazy, but I don't see him nearly as often and he probably doesn't realize how fondly I remember my childhood with him.

I may even put it into a book with old old old pictures of us... right up to current day. I have all the family albums at my house.

Love you girl!

Big Mark 243 said...

Whatever else you have to share along with this, he should read now. He can appreciate it and his love can grow for you here while he is still here.

And you will feel even more love in letting him know. Believe me.

urcg42jm3k